Monday, March 27, 2017

What You Can Do to Help a Lonely Neighbor

What You Can Do to Help a Lonely Neighbor



If your neighbor seems depressed or more isolated than usual, they may very well be suffering from loneliness. Chronic loneliness has the potential to affect anyone. The condition is the result of many things - some of them major, such as job loss or a family member moving away. Sometimes loneliness is the result of seemingly nothing at all, except to the person who is dealing with it.


Remember, even if you are good friends with your neighbor, he or she may be hesitant to reach out to you. Be that as it may, don't let that stop you from offering assistance. Here are a few things you can do to help a neighbor alleviate their loneliness. 


Get to Know Them


This is one of the most crucial things you can do to make your neighbor (or anyone) feel less isolated. Feeling less lonely isn’t just about having someone to talk to. Meaningful conversation about life or things that matter have a much greater impact on people than simply exchanging pleasantries. You can never have too many friends. So getting to know your neighbors is beneficial to everyone involved.


Have Your Neighbor Over for Dinner


A good meal is a great way to connect with people. Invite your lonely neighbor over for dinner or a summertime cookout. Go one step further and treat the individual to a meal at his or her favorite restaurant. Your neighbor is sure to appreciate the meal just as much as the companionship. If things go really well, consider getting together on a more frequent basis.


Offer to Give Them a Lift


If your neighbor doesn’t have access to a vehicle, chances are they may find themselves stuck at home with no way to get out and socialize. Offer to give them a ride every now and then, when they need it. Not only will this give you a chance to help them get to where they need to go, the one-on-one time will also afford you a chance to get to know each other better... if your aren't good friends already. 


Go to Your Neighbor for Advice


It feels good to help people out and to give them advice when they need it. Your neighbor will also appreciate an opportunity to lend a hand. Go to this person and ask for help with an issue you’re having. Obviously it doesn’t have to be anything major or personal - just something that they can weigh in on and offer advice. 


Help Out If They Need It


If you see that your neighbor is having a hard time with something, such as carrying in their groceries or taking garbage out, offer to give them a hand. Even if it’s just a small task, getting assistance with something will almost certainly help them to feel less like they’re alone. 


Keep Your Neighbor in Mind during the Holiday Season


Receiving a holiday card or small gift from someone unexpected is always a pleasant surprise. Make a habit of leaving your neighbor a card or small gift during the holiday season. They may even get enjoyment from sending you a gift in return.


Overall, the best thing that you can do to help out a lonely neighbor is to be a friend. Just remember not to overdo it. If your neighbor is shy or anxious about meeting new people, you might make things worse by insisting on building a friendship with them. 


Take things slow, get to know them and build a relationship with them just like you would any other friend. Your friendship could mean the difference between them feeling alone and feeling like they have someone that they can turn to whenever they start feeling isolated. 



What to Do When Your Child Feels Lonely

What to Do When Your Child Feels Lonely



Loneliness can have an adverse effect on anyone. Children are certainly no exception. In fact, loneliness is a common issue among kids. It is typically brought on by a number of factors. 


Problems at school can often lead to loneliness. Events such as encountering a bully or dealing with a close friend moving away can quickly bring on feelings of social isolation. Outside of school, lack of self-confidence or a major change at home (such as divorce) can also lead to chronic feelings of loneliness. 


Obviously, it doesn’t feel good to be lonely. Long-term loneliness can have a pronounced effect on a child's physical and mental health, as well as his or her social life. Prolonged periods of loneliness can lead to digestive problems and trouble sleeping. 


Being lonely isn’t healthy for anybody. But, it can sometimes be more detrimental to a child. Why? The answer is a simple one. Loneliness has a serious impact on a child’s success in school, which can take years of recovery to correct. 


In addition, many children don't understand why they are lonely. Young children may go so far as to think something is wrong with them. Unfortunately, this can lead to even more complex issues, which are even more difficult to get under control.


Here are a few things you can do when children feel lonely. Depending on the severity of their loneliness, it may be easier to cheer them up than you think.


Keep Them Busy


Keep your child busy with a hobby or their favorite activity. This generally combats loneliness, at least for as long as they remain occupied. If hobbies are not an option, consider taking them to the park or local activity center. Participating in sports or joining a club at school are two more options. Who knows? They may even end up making new friends in the process.


Encourage Children to Open Up


It can be difficult for kids who are shy to make friends. This can ultimately leave them with few people to talk to. Encourage your child to meet new people and to be open about themselves to their friends... just not too open (to be safe, be sure to set limits). This is the first step toward kids feeling more confident and outgoing in the future.


Spend Quality Time Together


Not being able to spend enough time with parents is a major cause of loneliness in children. If your schedule is keeping you from interacting with your child, make sure you set aside at least 60 minutes a day to talk to them about the things going on in their lives. Please note, this amount of time is the bare minimum. Spending time together goes a long way toward making kids feel less isolated.


Build Up Your Child's Confidence 


A lack of self-confidence can lead to serious feelings of loneliness. It's easy to let children know they are capable and talented, simply by praising their good work and accomplishments. If a child doesn't succeed at something, encourage that child in regard to the positive aspects of what they’ve done rather than focusing on what may have gone wrong.


Remember, being lonely can cause feelings of anxiety, depression and poor self-image. Children affected by loneliness have been known to exhibit hostile, antisocial, or self-destructive behavior. They also tend to experience a negative impact on their memory and learning abilities. 


You can help your child manage loneliness, even when he or she may not realize what they are feeling. It’s important to keep an eye out for signs that your child may be lonely. Kids may not always come to their parents when they need a little help.


Ways to Combat Loneliness after Moving to a New Community

Ways to Combat Loneliness after Moving to a New Community

Moving to a new neighborhood is typically a stressful experience for anyone. A new town means the excitement of new people and places. But, let's face it, it takes time to become familiar with both. 

That being said, when you’re new to the community, you're likely to find yourself spending a lot of time (at home) alone. It just makes sense. However, falling into this habit for too long has the potential to lead to feelings of loneliness, depression and even anxiety. So, what’s the best cure for loneliness after a move? Here are a few suggestions to get you started.

Keep in Touch

Moving to a new place doesn’t mean you have to sever ties with any of your friends. In fact, staying connected to the people you associated with in your old neighborhood means you'll have someone to talk to while you find new social circles. 

If your previous residence is close enough, invite your old friends to hang out in your new neighborhood. Not only will it help you break the ice, so to speak, it's also a great way to make new memories with those you hold dear.

In the event your friends and family don't live close enough to pay you a face-to-face visit, there's a simple solution. Keep in contact via Skype or similar platform. Think of it as the next best thing to being there!

Go Out Every Day

Unfortunately, it's very easy to get accustomed to not going out, especially if you aren’t familiar with the area. Whatever it takes, find an excuse to get out and about every day. For example, a great activity to involve yourself in when getting to know a new community, is walking. Walking or jogging gives you a chance to exercise, learn the layout of your neighborhood and maybe even start up conversations with people who might be passing by. 

Fill Up Free Time

Having too much time on your hands can easily cause you to dwell on your feelings of loneliness. If you suddenly find yourself with nothing to do, make some changes. Picking up a hobby (like gardening or collecting) is a good way to fill in time gaps. Research public events in the area that interests you. If all else fails, spend some time at the park, the library or another relaxing environment. 

Establish a Routine

Work the things that you need to do each day into a routine. A consistent routine helps you feel balanced and in control. This is especially true when life gets stressful. Incorporating structure into your day means you’ll feel a lower level of anxiety and spend less time worrying about how things are going to get done. When this happens, it affords you more time to get acquainted with your new home.

Get to Know the Neighbors

When you move into a new home, it’s the perfect time to get to know the people who live near you. You have both your move and your new neighborhood to use as conversation starters. If things go well, you may find neighbors who are more than willing to show you around town. At that point, if you hit it off, why not invite them over to see your new digs?

These are just a few things to do to stave off loneliness after your move. However, if you still find yourself feeling lonely, it’s important not to be overly hard on yourself. Getting used to a new home, job and social life all at once is bound to be stressful for anyone. Don’t be mad at yourself if you end up feeling overwhelmed. Remember, it happens to everybody at some point in their lives. It's simply part of being human.


Tips to Make New Friends

Tips to Make New Friends



Regardless of your age or place in life, it's still important to make new friends. Obviously, you don't have to make the attempt every day. But, it's something to be open to whenever the opportunity presents itself. Remember, no matter what anyone tells you, you can never have too many friends.


Some people make friends very easily. They don't even really have to try; it just comes naturally. Other people find it extremely difficult. Whether they're shy, embarrassed, or just don't know how to go about it, making new friends is a chore.


If you fall into the second category, there's no reason to panic. Read the following tips. They're aimed at helping you make new friends without getting stressed in the process.


Start with People You Know


If the thought of meeting new people completely intimidates you, why not start out with people you know? Try reaching out to old school friends or co-workers. The internet makes it so easy to do these days. Hundreds of people reconnect every week with the help of platforms such as Facebook and Instagram.


In the event you typically refuse invitations from friends, you may want to consider changing your strategy. You never know who might show up at their event. It might even be your new bestie! If you truly want to make more friends, you need to step out of your comfort zone and introduce yourself every chance you get.


As silly as it may sound, you can always ask your friends to introduce you to their friends. After all, if you're comfortable with the friends you already have now, you'll probably feel comfortable with the people they hang around with too.


Be Yourself


Nobody wants to associate with a fake friend. That's why it's so important to never change yourself when making new friends. This way, any potential new friends will get to know you for who you really are. They'll use what they learn to decide whether or not they want to take friendship with you to the next level.


Make an Effort to Really Get to Know Someone


Once you've been introduced to someone who you think is worth getting to know, take the initiative to find out all that you can about that person. True friends take the time to get to know each other, even if it's at a gradual pace. You can ask questions like:


* What are your hobbies?

* What do you value the most? 

* What are your goals?

* What type of work to you to?

* What motivates you?


In addition, take the time to ask the person about his or her family. It's an easy subject that everyone wants to talk about, even with someone they're just getting to know.


Never Judge Someone


As unfortunate as it is, many people automatically and mistakenly judge someone right out of the gate. This is usually due to one of several reasons. Maybe it's because they come from a different background. Or it might be because of rumors that have surfaced about the potential friend in question.


Whatever the case, treat a person with the same level of respect that you expect them to give to you. Without respect, a new friendship doesn't stand much of a chance.


These are just a few tips to consider when attempting to make a new friend. Even if you're slightly introverted, you can still make lifelong friends quite easily. Just remember to be yourself and let all of your genuine kindness and great personality shine through. You can do it!


The Effects of Social Media on Loneliness

The Effects of Social Media on Loneliness


Social media has completely changed the way that people communicate with each other. Getting in touch (and keeping in touch) is easier than ever thanks to sites like Facebook and Twitter.

With contact with other people so easy to achieve, it seems like loneliness would be much less of an issue, doesn't it? However, some studies indicate that's just not the case. Excessive social media participation can actually cause feelings of loneliness to build. Here are a few of the positive and negative effects of social media in our lives.

The Good

Not so long ago, we had to reach out to our friends over the phone to catch up with them. Today, reading the latest news from your friends and family is as easy as scrolling through your social media feed.

Chances are, more than a few of your friends post updates about their lives, from major occurrences to weekend and summer activities. The steady stream of updates is meant to make you feel more connected and keeps you from feeling lonely.

But, the quick source of social updates isn’t the only benefit. Social networks also give you a place to reach out to others when you feel like you need someone to talk to. We tend to add people to our “friends” list who we actually know in real life. This means that if you post an update about needing someone to talk to, it’s likely that your friends will see this and respond. By reaching out through social media, you may find someone you can confide in that you wouldn’t otherwise think to ask for help.

The Bad

Research shows that using social media could be linked to feelings of unhappiness and loneliness. Ethan Kross, a psychologist from the University of Michigan, lead a study of the effects of Facebook on the moods of the residents of Ann Arbor.

Participants were asked five times per day how they were feeling in terms of happiness, loneliness or depression. The results show that the more each person used Facebook in between being interviewed, the more they indicated they were feeling unhappy.

What causes these feelings of unhappiness? While researchers aren’t entirely sure, it may be due to the lack of depth that these online relationships provide. People often want to create a certain image of themselves on their social media profile and may want to draw attention to the good while not mentioning the bad. This lack of total sincerity could prevent your online relationships from fulfilling your social needs in the same way that a face-to-face conversation can.

Another way that the use of social media correlates with the level of loneliness someone feels has to do with material goods and opportunities. For example, many people who don't have much money get depressed and feel more isolated when they look at their friends' feeds.

These friends could be posting pictures about their latest vacation or purchase of some sort. If a lonely person never hears from the person who just posted the pictures, they might easily feel an even greater level of loneliness and misfortune.

The best way to avoid some of the pitfalls of social media is to not let it rule your life. Try to get out of the house and meet people face-to-face. It remains one of the best ways to eliminate the feelings of loneliness in your life.



The Difference between Loneliness and Being Alone

The Difference between Loneliness and Being Alone



Many people are under the impression that being alone goes hand in hand with being lonely. However, while solitude does sometimes lead to feelings of loneliness, this isn’t always the case. 


In fact, some people feel less impact from being alone than others. This group of individuals prefer being by themselves and don’t feel lonely in the least... even after an extended period of solitude. That being said, what's the real difference between feeling lonely and being alone? Keep reading to find out.


What Is Loneliness?


Loneliness is an unpleasant feeling of isolation, disconnectedness or abandonment. Feelings of loneliness have been linked to depression, loss of sleep, an increased risk of stroke and high blood pressure. Sounds quite scary, doesn't it?


Loneliness is a complex emotional response which affects people in many different ways. We feel loneliness when we can’t communicate or connect with other people. This means that you don’t necessarily have to be alone to feel lonely, especially if you’re surrounded by people that you don’t feel comfortable communicating with. 


Humans as a species are very social and many of us feel a need for contact on some level. It’s very common for a person to feel lonely at one point or another during their lifetime. Events such as a breakup or the loss of a loved one can lead to temporary feelings of loneliness. These feelings typically fade as time goes by. 


On the other hand, when it comes to cases of being chronically lonely, the dreadful feeling is brought on by the person rather than the environment. This means that the feelings of loneliness cannot be easily relieved and will likely be more permanent. 


You can assume it's loneliness when:


* You feel isolation that comes with an unmet expectation or unreturned feeling

* You cry when no one is watching

* You feel a huge sense of emotional abandonment

* You struggle to find distractions, to free yourself from what you're feeling

* You start blaming yourself for how you feel


The Effects of Solitude


Being alone affects each of us differently. While many people tend to view being alone as a negative, there can be positive effects of social isolation. Being alone gives us time to think, which can help to improve our concentration and other cognitive functions. It also gives us time to reflect on our experiences and process what’s going on in our lives. 


Getting a little time to yourself also helps in avoiding overstimulation or stress brought on by too much of a stimulus - in this case, social interaction.


Being alone isn’t always a good thing, however. Studies show that complete social isolation can have a negative impact on our health, even if we don’t feel lonely. If we go for a long time without talking to anyone, it can also get us out of practice when it comes to listening and communication skills. It’s important to interact with someone every now and then, whether it’s a friend, relative or even someone more distant like a stranger or a pen pal.


You can assume you're alone when:


* You feel a sense of freedom by being isolated

* You feel so consumed with yourself that you smile for absolutely no reason

* You feel mental or physical freedom

* You feel like it's okay to follow your heart

* You love yourself, so you want to be alone


In conclusion, although being lonely and being alone are closely related, they are two entirely different things. Sometimes, being alone can be a good thing, especially if you need to unwind. 


But, being lonely is almost never a positive thing. If you feel like you are lonely, take whatever steps you can to reach out and make a connection with someone. In the end, you'll be glad you did.



Steps to Combat Loneliness

Steps to Combat Loneliness 



Loneliness is an unpleasant emotion that we usually feel due to social isolation or a lack of communication with other people. And, while nearly everyone feels lonely at some point in their lives, prolonged or intense feelings of loneliness can have a negative impact on both our mental and physical health. 


Unfortunately, it can be difficult to pull yourself out of a lonely “slump” without some type of assistance. This help can come from almost anyone... be it a friend, family member or professional. Whatever you do, try not to panic because things may just get worse. 


If you're looking for a solution, here are some steps you can take to stop feeling lonely and start feeling better right away. It might be simpler to accomplish than you think.


Find a Hobby


When you have nothing but free time on your hands, it's easy to allow your mind to wander and stir up feelings of loneliness or negativity. If you find yourself in this position often, why not consider taking up a hobby? Honestly, there are so many interesting things to choose from. Chances are it won't be difficult to find something that you can be passionate about - something enjoyable you can turn to whenever you have time to spare. 


Walking is a great hobby when it comes to combating loneliness. It allows you to get in a good workout and explore your community at the same time. Better yet, it's free. Make sure to say hello to the people you meet. You never know where the conversation will lead. 


Meet New People


It's difficult for some people to “put themselves out there” and meet new people, especially if they happen to be on the shy side. Make it your mission to meet new people as frequently as possible. Strike up a conversation with people around you at the store, gym, or even on the street. As the saying goes, "you can never have too many friends!"


Chat with Old Friends


A long chat with old friends does wonders to combat loneliness. Get in touch with someone you’ve been friends with for a while. Take a few minutes to fill them in on how you’ve been. It may seem daunting to get back in touch with someone you haven’t talked to for some time. But, if you reach out to them, your friendship will likely pick up right where it left off.


Take Time to Reorganize


While cleaning and reorganizing your house may not sound fun at first, it will give you something to stay focused on. Having a clean house will also make you feel better about having people over, and therefore encourage you to interact with people on a more frequent basis.


Consider a Pet


Pets are wonderful companions. However, it’s important to think very carefully about whether or not you want the responsibility of a pet before you decide to care for one. Unfortunately, if you don't you may end up regretting the decision later, which wouldn’t be good for you or the animal.


Stay Positive


Poor self-image and negative thoughts about yourself can make feelings of loneliness worse and keep you from seeking out contact with others. Always try to avoid having self-depreciating thoughts by being as positive as you can be.


Loneliness can be a difficult feeling to deal with. If you still feel like you need help after taking these steps, you may want to reach out to your support network - whether it’s friends, family, or even co-workers. 


If that's not an option, consider reaching out to professional help, which is oftentimes the most efficient way to get your loneliness in check.